Transplant Dating

Ten days post surgery I asked our transplant doctor if we could go out on a date.  "I don't think this is appropriate.  First I don't date clients and you realize you wife is sitting right here" she exclaimed.  I'm sorry doctor, I meant is it OK for me and my wife to go out for a bit.  After a good laugh, she advised "I don't see why not if she feels up to it, but be careful about her activity level, exposure to people and food safety."   So dancing might not be the best idea for now?  What about out to eat?  How about a movie?   She replied "a movie is likely the best choice because we worry about bacteria.  As long as you wear your mask and don't eat the theater food, you should be fine. Don't choose a side busting comedy either, your incision is still fresh.  But if you choose to sneak into the back seats for smooching, you will have to get good at kissing through a face mask."  I appreciate a doctor with a sense of humor.

So off to the movies we went.   It was good to get out for a while and feel like real people for a change.  But going out with a suppressed immune system makes you hyper-vigilant of folks around you.  My wife wears a mask and maybe I should too because I can't afford to get ill as I am her primary caregiver.  If I come down with a cold I must leave the casita and ask somebody else to take over.  While going out my senses were heightened like a hawk on its prey.  I surveyed the crowd for sniffles, coughs and signs of bad hygiene.  You might as well carry around a hand sanitizer fire hose to extinguish all the bacteria in your path.  Much like a protective daddy taking his newborn out, I was protecting my wife and kidney daughter from the world.

We went to see Like a Boss.  It is a comedy, albeit not a very good one, about two close friends running a cosmetics business together.  They value their friendship over the business, but it seems to get in the way.  At the end, their friendship rises victorious as they are willing to give it all up if it means losing each other in the process.  It's much the same for couples when one gets sick. Nothing matters more than keeping your love and friendship secure.  Jobs, tasks, careers, money, to-do lists, all get thrown out the window when illness sets in.  Your focus is on healing, on helping your partner get well.  Everything else becomes secondary.  We were like those two good friends trying to get by with a failed business/kidney as best as we could, recognizing our relationship trumped everything else.  Daily dialysis, special meals, all the medications, lots of blood-work and plenty of doctor visits.  A kidney transplant puts all this behind us.  We will still get regular blood-work and still see the doctor.  Our diet will return to normal and we'll have more freedom to travel and enjoy the things we love.  Most importantly, it means many more years together.  A luxury we otherwise could not have predicted in our future.

It was good to go out and feel normal for a change.